How to beat your inner critic

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How to beat your inner critic
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п»ї<title>A home is built with emotions</title>

My Home.
It is the shelter from external storms.
It is my rest even if there is war.
My home.
It is the color with which I always paint
wherever I am.
My home.
It is my pause and then go on,
It's the best place where I want to share.
My home.
It's my today, where I also give,
It's where I make myself felt, It's where I show who I am.
Mery Bracho
Happy homes, healthy peopleCaring for the emotional climate in our home is key to develop as people, to feel good and to feel the unconditionality and companionship of family life.
A home is a place where we can be ourselves. But there is also a great danger, that of "anything goes". That is to say, trust and habits can make us get carried away and neglect certain principles such as respect and solidarity.
It is super important that we simmer warmth, respect, self-control and kindness in our home. At the end of the day, it's all about taking care of our emotions and our common well-being. Emotional intelligence is cemented in our home and will be the best guarantee of a happy life.
Moreover, emotional education becomes, if possible, much more important when there are children in our home. They are the ones who suffer with greater intensity these conflicts to which we are accustomed. For this reason, it is important that we talk about our feelings and emotions before they explode and become rivals of our family health.
The neighbor test
Imagine that one day you are all overwhelmed at home and you find yourselves fighting uncontrollably. Reproaches, shouting, fights... The tension has invaded your house and you are on the verge of collapse.
Suddenly, someone knocks at the door. It's the neighbor. Suddenly everything calms down, we gather our things and our bad mood, we speak to him with moderation and kindness and we offer him all our hospitality.
When the neighbor leaves, two things can happen: we all start fighting again or everyone resumes their activities normally.
Why do we need a neighbor to force us to control ourselves? Why aren't we capable of putting on the brakes and acting with emotional intelligence?
3 keys to improve the emotional climate in the home
Elsa Punset presents in the video linked at the end some keys to improve the emotional climate at home and not get out of tune so easily...
1. Ask yourself questions and test yourself... Are you capable of behaving with your family for a whole day as if your neighbor was listening to you? Are you going to say something to your family that the neighbor can't hear?
As we have been saying, it is to be expected that this will be complicated. Therefore, specialists recommend putting this into practice for at least one day a week as it will help restore our emotional balance.
2. Take care of your expressions and expressions of affection.
We all need to be spoken to with affection and permissiveness from time to time. Stress, routine and everyday life often cause us to speak harshly to our loved ones, which in turn undermines the trust we have built up and the warmth of the home.
3. The priority is joint and individual well-being
We all have to take care of each other. We often prioritize our own interests without realizing the damage that can be caused by emotional selfishness. It is important to share moments and help each other every day. The simple fact of being interested in how the other person is doing in his or her daily life is comforting, which allows the emotional climate we breathe not to harm us.
A home is the most important construction in our lives. Let's take care of it.
Main image courtesy of Victor Rivas Fernandez, De la Luz y de las Mariposas
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A short film for all the extraordinary women I admire.
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п»ї<title>A short film for all the extraordinary women I admire.</title>

Your hair has fallen out, you have had a breast removed, your skin is no longer the same, you have gained weight, you have had a thousand analyses and tests of all kinds, you have felt the pain, the fear of dying, the frustration, but you are still you, you are still that extraordinary woman you have always been.
You are my friend, my mother, my grandmother, my cousin. You are that person with whom I have shared my life and now you can disappear, without me telling you that I love you. You are much braver than me and I admire you with all my heart.
I admire your courageThe day you told me you had cancer I did not believe you, that is something that happens to others, I thought, it is not possible that it could happen to you, because you are part of my life and I cannot allow that there is something that could make you disappear.
I have never told you, out of shame or fear, but I admire your courage, your will to live. I remember when they cut your beautiful black hair and put a wig on you, you looked beautiful and we went to the movies as if nothing was happening. But it was. I admired your fortitude in spite of your tears. If I think I'm going to lose my hair, I would feel so bad that I don't know if I would be able to go out in the street.
And you, you turned the tables and went out into the street, painted up, dressed up and went out there to live your life, as you would have done in any other circumstance, with your eyes wide open to absorb every detail.
"I learned that courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over fear. The brave man is not he who feels no fear, but he who conquers that fear."
-Nelson Mandela
I admire the way you look at lifeEven though you are afraid and have scars on your body and soul, if you see a man you like you go out with him, you enjoy yourself with him, you have sex with him. If you want to swim, one day you swim for ten minutes, another for twenty and you will end up swimming for an hour or more. Then I feel that I have scars too, but mine are absurd because only I feel them and I let them hurt.
You have turned the tables and dared to show your chest, your hairless head, your wounds, without fear, without pain, without shame. That is not done by just anyone, there are many people, who possess everything they could wish for in this life and are tremendously unhappy and you who have gone through a disease that takes lives, are more alive than ever.
"The meaning of things is not in the things themselves, but in our attitude towards them."
-Antoine de Saint-ExupГ©ry
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To you, to them, to the courageous women.
To all those brave and fighting women who every day win the battle against cancer, skillful builders of bridges to their strengths.
I admire your sense of humorDespite all the pain, the fear, the bad times, you have turned the tables and made me laugh. The wig you bought to cover your hairless head, you call it "the dog", and you take it out for a walk, comb it and take care of it like another pet.
The eggs that were frozen so that you could have children in the future were your eggs, and despite what the doctors said, you had a lot of them. And there they are still frozen, waiting for the right moment.
I admire your hair, your chest and your heartEven if time goes by and you are afraid, what you have learned is a life lesson, the most important one. But you have also taught all the rest of us, all of us who have not gone through this disease, that it is possible to overcome fear.
For all these reasons, I admire your black hair when it waves in the wind, when you tie it up in a ponytail, when it shines in the sun. I admire your chest under your clothes because it harbors all the courage you exude and that drives you every day. And I admire your heart, because it has continued beating and spreading your will to live, infecting all of us who are around you.
You have turned the tables not only in your life, but in the lives of all of us around you, who have learned what it means to really live, thanks to you. Therefore: I LOVE YOU.
And always remember: be brave!
"The world is crazy. Definitely crazy. Rich things are fattening. Pretty things are expensive. The sun that lights up your face wrinkles. And what's really good in this life, messes you up.
To make love, it makes your hair uncombed.
Laughing out loud, it makes your hair stand on end.
Traveling, flying, running, going into the sea, it ruffles your hair.
Taking off your clothes, it messes your hair up.
Kissing the person you love, ruffles your hair.
Playing, messy.
Singing until you run out of air, messy.
Dancing until you doubt if it was a good idea to wear high heels that night, leaves your hair unrecognizable.
So, as always and every time we meet, I'm going to be with my hair tousled. However, have no doubt I'll be having a good time.
It's a law of life: the woman who chooses to ride the first roller coaster will always be more disheveled than the one who chooses not to ride.
I may be tempted to be an impeccable woman, combed and ironed inside and out. The rules of this world demand good looks: comb your hair, wear it, take it off, buy it, run, lose weight, eat healthy, walk straight, be serious... And maybe I should follow the instructions, but when will they give me the order to be happy? Don't they realize that to look pretty, I have to feel pretty... The prettiest person I can be!
The only thing that really matters is that when I look in the mirror, I see the woman I want to be. That's why my recommendation to all women: give yourself, eat well, kiss, hug, dance, fall in love, relax, travel, jump, go to bed late, get up early, run, fly, sing, make yourself beautiful, make yourself comfortable, admire the scenery, enjoy, and above all, let life ruffle your hair...!
The worst thing that can happen to you is that, smiling in front of the mirror, you have to comb your hair again."
-Quino (Mafalda)-
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My child is afraid of other children: what do I do?
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п»ї<title>My child is afraid of other children: what do I do?</title>

My child is afraid of other children: what can I do? Are you in this situation and you do not know how to act? In these cases, the first thing you can do is to try to identify the cause of the fear.
Specific phobias usually appear as a result of a traumatic event with the phobic object (in this case, other children), or for a variety of other reasons. It is important to take this into account and to check if there was, in your child's life, an event of this type. A child psychologist can help you in these cases.
On the other hand, childhood fears are quite frequent, and many of them are evolutionary (therefore, they disappear spontaneously with the child's own development). However, there are always things we can do to help our child.
My child is afraid of other children: what do I do?
If this thought "my child is afraid of other children" distresses you and you want to start doing something for your child, here are some key ideas so that you can begin to approach what is happening to your child. Of course, we recommend seeing a professional if the symptoms are really interfering with their functioning and well-being.
Try to set rhythms that are not too demandingPressuring him to approach or play with other children is the last thing you should do, especially in the beginning. It is fine to expose him to the situation, yes, but in a progressive and natural way, taking into account what we treat as an obligation. Therefore, it is important that you validate his emotions and accompany him without judging him. Try to find out what is behind that fear.
Identify the causes of this fearThis type of fear arises for different reasons. It is therefore important to understand them. Talk to him, observe him, hypothesize about what is happening to him... Has it always happened to him? Has there been a triggering factor for this fear? Does it occur in all contexts or only with strangers?
To understand the causes of this fear, it is often advisable to seek professional help, in this case from a child psychologist. Once the origin and causes have been identified, it will be essential to work on them (depending on the cause, there are certain treatments or others).
Let him/her know that you are still thereWhen facing the feared situation, your child should do it progressively and, above all, knowing that you are close by. For example, if you go with him to the park and he feels anxious when other children approach him, remind him that you are there. That he can reach you at any time and that he is not alone. Over time, you will be able to withdraw from the situation, allowing him to begin to cope on his own.
Try, as much as possible, to have the other children approach him or her slowly and non-invasively. The approach to the interaction should not be invasive, as this will only increase the fear.
If necessary, talk to the other children and explain to them that it is better for them to approach without shouting, putting themselves at their level (trying to make your child see them as equals). Another idea you can consider, especially if your child is very young, is for children to approach them by offering them a toy, for example. But never approach them directly by hugging them, for example, but in a progressive way.
Progressive approaches (exposure)For specific phobias, such as fear of other children, the most validated therapy to date is exposure therapy. Through it, the subject progressively approaches the feared situations, so that he/she is increasingly able to "bear" them without anxiety.
The idea is that the child gradually disassociates (the association weakens) the feared stimulus (in this case, other children) with the fear and anxiety response. This technique also helps the child to understand that his fear is disproportionate, since in that situation the danger is minimal.
Even if you apply the exposure, it is important that you give your child time. Especially if this fear has arisen as a result of a traumatic experience with other children (in these cases, the best thing to do is to go to therapy).
Be patient; offer your child the possibility to observe and to decide when he/she wants to approach others or not. It is one thing for us to give him "the push", but never forcing him, but respecting his rhythms.
"Children do not remember what you try to teach them. They remember what you are."
-Jim Henson
We have seen some ideas that we can implement to help our child in case he/she is afraid of other children. We insist, the key is to understand where that fear comes from and, above all, to adapt to the child's age.
Sometimes it is a fear that will arise from the child's own development, or from his or her insecure temperament, which makes him or her afraid of this and similar situations. But this is not always the case.
If, for example, it arises from a traumatic event with other children, such as a bullying experience, it is important not to force it. Dialogue with him, validate his emotions and make him understand that we are there. But, above all, ask for professional help.
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What is damage OCD?
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п»ї<title>What is damage OCD?</title>
.
A common subtype of obsessive compulsive disorder is harm OCD. People who experience it have unwanted intrusive thoughts or images of hurting others around them. They also engage in compulsions intended to relieve the distress caused by these obsessions.
Harm OCD causes the individual to feel that they cannot trust their own mind. Where someone without OCD might have a violent thought and recognize it, a person with harm OCD worries that just having the thought is going to cause pain to another person.
Harm OCD: What is it? Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) can take many forms. It may involve excessive cleaning, preoccupation with tidiness or avoiding certain numbers, or having intrusive thoughts that focus on the possibility of harming others.
The reality is that it is quite natural and common for people with and without OCD to have all kinds of thoughts, including harmful ones. The difference is that people with harm OCD get stuck in these more recurrently, exclusively and intensely.
Harm OCD: the fear of being violentIntrusive thoughts are frightening and isolating in this type of OCD. They seem like signs that their lives will stagnate forever or, worse, that they are destined to do something terrible, such as commit a violent crime.
However, we might understand people with harm OCD as the opposite of violent offenders; in fact, they find the thoughts extremely disturbing and would do everything possible to avoid experiencing them. In contrast, violent people often take satisfaction in the idea of hurting others.
OCD truly becomes a problem when these thoughts (or impulses or images) are taken as a dangerous signal, interpreted as very likely, and may be acted upon.
Some examples of harm OCDSomeone without harm OCD might have a thought related to stabbing a family member and react by thinking, "I'm not going to do that" and never think about it again. Conversely, someone with Harm OCD who has that thought will understand that he or she is likely to do it, and will take steps to keep it from happening, such as avoiding that person.
Harm OCD is similar to other subtypes of OCD in which there is a constant struggle with uncertainty. People with this disorder experience excessive preoccupation with the meaning of their obsessions related to harm and the possibility that they may harm others.
These obsessions can be quite overwhelming, leading these people to engage in repetitive behaviors or mental acts (also known as compulsions) to reduce this distress.
Typical obsessionsPeople with Harm OCD experience their obsessions as threatening. Some of the most common may include the following:
"What if I accidentally hurt someone?".
"What if I killed my loved one?".
"What if I am secretly a violent person?".
"What if I accidentally acted on my thoughts?".
Typical compulsionsAs noted above, compulsions are intended to reduce this distress. Some common types of compulsions include avoidance, reassurance, and repetitive mental acts.
Avoidance behaviors may consist of the following:
Avoiding items that may cause harm to others (e.g., knives, scissors, sharp objects).
Ignoring people or animals for fear that seeing them may be a trigger.
Do not go to places where there is potential for harm (e.g., busy streets, balconies, kitchens with knives).
Avoiding triggering content (e.g., reading materials, television programs, movies).
Tranquility patterns may consist of the following:
Asking others to assure them that they will not commit a violent act.
Researching violent offenders online to determine characteristics similar to them, which could indicate whether one might commit a violent act.
Make an excessive list of positive character traits to ensure that you are a safe person who would not harm others.
Mental rituals may consist of the following:
Mentally reviewing evidence of experiences that prove one is a loving or violent person.
Mentally assuring oneself that one would not commit a violent act.
Saying a prayer each time a bad thought arises.
Replace a negative thought with a positive thought.
Why do OCD thoughts of harm occur? Thoughts occur for reasons beyond our control. What turns these thoughts into obsessions is the meaning we attach to them. For example: if you think that your idea of hitting your father means that you are likely to do it and you don't want to do it, then you will experience anxiety.
You will also watch for the thought to reoccur, since you see it as a significant event. Being alert to a thought is almost a guarantee that you will have it again. Trying to suppress it usually has the opposite of the desired effect.
For example, for the next five seconds, try not to think of a pink elephant. Usually, when you try hard to do this, you think of a pink elephant. Why? Because trying to suppress a thought without realizing it creates that thought and then we are unable to "get rid" of it.
Therefore, what would trigger in this case the OCD pattern of harm would be the combination of:
Not wanting to hit your father (as in the example above).
Interpreting having the thought as a sign that you might.
Trying to repress the thought, which ultimately creates the obsessive cycle of harm OCD.
How do you know if you have Harm OCD? OCD is a condition that can only be diagnosed by a mental health professional. However, there are warning signs that you have this type. Some of them are as follows:
Prior history of obsessions, compulsions, or a previous diagnosis of OCD (whether or not there are obsessions about harm at the time).
Thoughts, images or urges to harm someone, despite fervently wanting this not to happen.
History of violence.
Repetitive anxious thoughts about the likelihood of harming someone.
Taking steps to avoid harming someone, but which are unlikely to work in real life if you really wanted to harm someone.
Avoidance of situations in which you worry that you might harm someone against your conscious wishes.
Possible causesOCD for most is determined by both environment and biology. This is true for all subtypes, including harm. For people with a diagnosis of OCD, approximately 10-20% of their first-degree relatives also have OCD.
People with OCD have learned that their anxiety and fear are temporarily relieved by engaging in various compulsive behaviors. The problem with this approach is that these same compulsive behaviors must be repeated whenever a triggering situation or anxious thought arises. This short-term anxiety relief approach ends up becoming a long-term deficit.
Treatment of Harm OCDThe intervention that has shown the best results in treating OCD is exposure with response prevention (ERP). ERP involves controlled exposure to anxiety triggers and guided work to reduce compulsions in response to those triggers.
This process gradually teaches people with OCD that they can tolerate intrusive, even violent, thoughts without feeling the need to do anything about them.
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The 7 main theories on development
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п»ї<title>The 7 main theories on development</title>

Developmental psychology is concerned with the study of human beings throughout all their life stages. It analyzes how cognition develops and how behavior changes during growth. It is an interesting discipline that brings a multitude of knowledge to the field of applied psychology and therefore, in order to understand it and not get lost along the way, we are going to describe the six main theories on development.
In order to explain the data we have today, some of them may have become somewhat obsolete. However, it is no less true that their exposition and understanding is fundamental to explain the advances that have taken place in developmental psychology during the last decades.
Developmental TheoriesThese six developmental theories that we are going to discuss from a developmental perspective are Gestalt, psychoanalysis, behaviorism, cognitive psychology, Piaget and Vygotski.
Gestalt psychologyGestalt psychology was one of the first currents that emerged in psychology. Today some of its knowledge is obsolete, however, its approach to the study of perception was undoubtedly revolutionary. Moreover, although the psychologists attached to it are less known in the study of development, the truth is that they also excelled in this field.
Gestalt defends that we use a series of structures to know. Structures that would have a physical base and would impose their qualities concerning our development. On the other hand, we could define them as complex totalities, product in turn of the decomposition of complex unities. Complex? Let's see if we can explain it a little better.
What Gestalt comes to tell us about development is that it is based on structures of biological origin that we learn to use as we grow. Therefore, there would be no "development" in the aspect of genesis and evolutionary stages, only the progressive discovery of the brain's capacities. However, current research shows us that this is not true and that there really is genesis and evolution in cognitive processes.
Freud and psychosexual developmentPsychoanalysis is a current with a very clear father: Sigmund Freud. This approach emphasizes unconscious impulses and their effects on our behavior. Although this branch has been guilty of an unscientific method and its postulates lack the principle of parsimony, it is no less true that it has had a great impact on the study of development and that its theories represented a revolution with respect to the conception of childhood and adolescence in psychology.
Regarding development, he considers that this happens because the child needs to satisfy a series of needs at each stage of development. Therefore, he classifies development in a series of stages according to how the satisfaction of this series of needs is established. Psychoanalysis, too, has placed great emphasis on the importance of sexuality in all stages of our development, including the early stages.
The evolutionary stages postulated by Freud are the following:
Oral Stage. It develops in the first 18 months of the child's life. According to Freud the child seeks pleasure through the mouth. This would be the reason why children have to bite and/or suck on everything.
Anal stage. It goes from 18 months to 3 years old. The important thing is sphincter control. This control leads the child to a sense of accomplishment and independence.
Phallic Stage. Between 3 and 6 years old. The zone of pleasure would be the genitals. It also arises his curiosity in the differences between males and females. Freud also asserted that girls felt penis envy and that it is never satisfactorily resolved.
Latency Stage. From the age of 6 until the onset of puberty. There is no specific erogenous zone. The libido is not so strong. The development of the ego and superego help to diminish it. They are more engaged in social interaction.
Genital Stage. From puberty onwards. It is related to physical changes. The areas of pleasure are the genitals but this time they seek contact with other people. The interest in sex and sexual relations is born.
Behavioral theoriesCurrent that was born in response to the poor scientific attitude of psychoanalysis. It is extremely positivist, everything that cannot be measured directly, for them, is outside the study of psychology. Therefore, they only studied the relationship between perceived stimuli and the manifest behavior they triggered, ignoring any intermediate variable that cannot be measured.
For behaviorists, development is only understood with the different types of learning that are considered in this framework. The child is born with a series of unconditioned and innate responses, which through experience he associates with other stimuli. Through very simple processes he generates a multitude of complex behaviors. The problem with this theory of development is that it can be too reductionist.
Albert Bandura's social learning theoryAlbert Bandura, going beyond the classical behaviorist conceptions, proposed that learning is mediated by the different social interactions that we have from the moment of our birth. In this way, he gave an important place to the internal motivations of individuals as well as to social aspects linked to learning and modeling of new behaviors.
Thus, according to Bandura, one's own expectations regarding performance are fundamental in the learning process, as well as the observation of the actions performed by others (parents, adults, peers) in the development of new skills.
Cognitive psychology arises as a reaction to behaviorism, and is concerned with studying the internal processes that can mediate between a given stimulus and a given behavior. This is where the computational and connectionist perspectives of the human brain are born. Today, cognitive psychology is the most supported perspective, especially in Europe.
Regarding the study of development, cognitive psychology proposes that the subject is an information elaborator who builds internal representations of the world. Its position is close to Piaget and Vigotsky due to this constructivist principle. However, by defining processes as associative, he moves away from them and moves closer to behaviorism.
Jean Piaget's constructivist approachPiaget is one of the great referents in developmental theories. He is considered one of the fathers of constructivism. He is based on the idea that the child constructs his world and his way of constructing it will depend on the problems he faces. His theory on development focuses on the formation of knowledge.
Piaget emphasizes the maturational process. Through this process a balance is found between the individual and the demands of the environment. At the same time, he also proposes a process of assimilation of external reality and another process of accommodation of our structures to the environment. The harmonic articulation was a concept highlighted by Piaget. According to the author, all the parts of which the human being is composed coordinate with each other to interact successfully with the environment.
Through his constructivist perspective, he elaborated a theory that divided development into a series of stages. These stages are universal and all subjects would pass through them at similar ages. If you want to know more about Piaget's theory and its stages you can consult the following link here.
Lev Vygotski's cultural psychologyAnother of the great referents in developmental theories. Like Piaget, he approached development from a constructivist perspective. However, although they coincided in their perspective, they focused their attention on different points: while Piaget focused on how the individual interacted with his environment, Vygotski focused on the cultural and social effects that influenced development.
For Vygotski, development was inseparable from the social environment, since it is culture and society that transmits the forms of behavior and organization of knowledge. However, it is not a process of copying and pasting; the child constructs his reality through what society tells him. This theoretical postulate is known as socioconstructivism.
It is an interesting paradigm with many possibilities. Although many people consider Vygotski's thinking to be opposed to Piaget's, in reality they can be easily reconciled. But, to do so, we have to take a broader perspective that acts from different levels and ways of investigating.
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What will the anatomy of man be like in 1000 years?
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п»ї<title>What will the anatomy of man be like in 1000 years?</title>

The 21st century is about speed, dynamics and change. Already at the end of the 20th century there was a paradigm transformation in society with the irruption of new technologies. Advances that have modified our routines - with one finger we can send a message to the other side of the planet - and that, by extension and evolution, will end up leaving their mark on our anatomy. But how can these changes affect the human anatomy?
The human species has had a fabulous evolution since it first set foot on Earth. For all its faults, it is the only one that has managed to shape a very complex abstract thinking based on immense communication possibilities. Even if we don't realize it, we are still evolving. Changing environmental and cultural conditions are largely responsible for this.
Man's anatomy has changed a great deal since we ceased to be gatherers and hunters and became a sedentary species. Thereafter, developments in culture and changes in the planet have operated other more gradual modifications. However, it is likely that in the next 1,000 years we will undergo major changes in our physiognomy.
"In a century or two, we will either destroy ourselves or-most likely-we will use technology to upgrade ourselves to something different."
-Yuval Harari
Man's anatomy 1000 years from nowOn the subject of changes in man's anatomy into the future there is not full agreement. This is largely because there is also no consensus on how society will evolve. However, despite some good omens, most experts on the subject are not too optimistic.
Dr. Oliver Curry, an evolutionary theorist at the London School of Economics in the United Kingdom, has said that the peak of humanity will be just 1000 years from now, when we reach the year 3000 of our era. After that, the decline of the species will follow.
Oliver Curry, who shares the thesis with many other researchers, points out that in 1000 years there will most likely be two great subspecies: an elite one and a "waste" one. From the point of view of man's anatomy, the elite race will probably be over two meters tall and live at least 120 years. In addition, it will have an even longer youth than at present.
This elite race will be healthy, attractive and intelligent. Meanwhile, the "non-chosen" will maintain a shorter stature and have little physical attractiveness. They will die younger and live less healthy lives. The great differences in the world will come from directed genetics and not from natural differences.
Harari's visionYuval Harari's perspective, not only on the anatomy of man, but on the future in general, is even more discouraging. According to this historian, the human being has only one or two centuries of existence left. In his opinion, we are a vulnerable species, on the verge of extinction. The most paradoxical thing is that it is we ourselves who are writing that end.
Harari points out that we are living in a stage of history in which we are going to have very intelligent technologies. This will lead to a point where organic life is broken with and, for the first time, an inorganic life form is created.
With genetic manipulation and artificial intelligence, it is only a matter of time before a far superior being is created, without the limitations and frailties of the human.
Therefore, from this perspective, we are witnessing the last generations of homo sapiens. It may be a long time before the species is replaced by an inorganic one, much more efficient and capable of surviving extremely adverse conditions.
An uncertain futureAlthough Harari is perhaps the most radical of these "apocalyptic" experts, the truth is that those who have spent time making projections about the future of humanity are not far from his vision.
There are already many who think that machines are only a few decades away from reaching that innovative part that at the moment seems to be reserved only for our brains.
Others also think that genetic manipulation will make man's anatomy much more uniform, for the better. We will become more and more handsome, intelligent and skilled. However, that uniformity could lead to a single factor wiping out the entire species.
Some have talked about the possibility of humans becoming immortal in a short time. It is a topic that has sparked a great deal of debate and is only considered a plausible, but still fragile, hypothesis. What will happen? We live in such an unstable world that the most sensible thing to say is that anything can happen.
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What is idealization
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п»ї<title>What is idealization</title>

Each person has certain qualities that may be more or less similar to our way of being. However, there is no such thing as a perfect human being and there will always be certain areas in which we will not be in complete agreement. Idealization can be a burden for any relationship due to the excessive burden it places on the figure of the other.
Whether this unrealistic image is maintained over time or crumbles as we become intimate, it will not contribute to a healthy relationship. We must be able to see others as they are, love and accept them with their strengths and weaknesses. Otherwise, we will not be truly relating to that person but to a fantasy.
Idealizing someone consists of considering him or her as a model of perfection, exaggerating the virtues of that person and overlooking his or her less positive qualities. In this way we generate an image far removed from reality that can complicate our relationship with the idealized individual.
It is true that in certain circumstances, such as the beginning of a romantic relationship, idealization is part of the process. However, some people have a greater tendency to idealize others. Why is this?
Low self-esteemWhen we do not have adequate self-esteem, it is common to tend to overvalue others to the detriment of our own value. Somehow we overestimate what we find in others and what we ourselves lack. In this way we consider others special, unattainable and perfect while we feel inferior.
This is a dangerous situation that can easily lead to dependent relationships. If we consider ourselves of little value while extolling the virtues of our counterpart, we will quickly fall into submissive and complacent behavior.
PerfectionismPerfectionism is closely related to the tendency to idealize. This is due to the dichotomous perception that perfectionist individuals have of their environment. Everything is either black or white and, equally, people are either fantastic or horrible. When they find someone who seems to fit their highest values, they tend to put them on a pedestal and ignore their failures.
Childhood longingsWhen childhood conflicts are not properly resolved they can be reproduced in our adult relationships. We seek to recreate the childhood relationship with our parents in which we feel unique and unconditionally loved, in which our demands are satisfied without even having to utter a word.
In these cases we may project these longings onto the people we relate to. We give them the role of all-powerful provider and place our highest expectations on them. Obviously, this is unrealistic and unhealthy, and sooner rather than later disappointment will set in.
What about idealization: Idealization can lead to two different but equally discouraging outcomes. On the one hand, it is possible that the unrealistic expectations associated with a person fall under their own weight over time. No one is perfect, we all make mistakes and have failures. Therefore, when the blindfold falls from the idealizer's eyes, he or she may feel disappointment and a deep sense of betrayal.
He will begin to think that the person has deceived him, that he was not what he seemed to be. The truth is that he himself had placed her on an unsustainable pedestal and when facing reality he will be overcome with frustration.
On the other hand, something completely opposite can happen. In order to maintain our psychological balance, people tend to keep the beliefs we already have safe. In this way we ignore any information that contradicts our ideas and actively seek out information that supports them.
When an individual idealizes another person, he may do the unspeakable to maintain the fictitious image he has assigned to the other person in his mind. To do so, he will resort to a thousand excuses and justifications so that he can evade the faults that begin to become apparent in the other. Likewise, he will extol their virtues beyond the positive aspects they may actually have.
If we wish to establish a healthy relationship, it is necessary to free ourselves from these veils and look at the person as a whole. We must accept their successes as well as their mistakes, assuming that they are human and loving them in their imperfection. Only in this way will the bond be real.
Is it possible to get out of idealization? Considering that idealization often works as a defense mechanism, to get out of it the first and perhaps the most important thing is to recognize that it is present in the way we build our bonds with other people. Some of these tips can be useful to start building healthier and more realistic relationships:
Work on self-awareness. Dig into yourself to identify the origin of this tendency to idealize others and try to recognize the reasons why this behavior has been maintained over time.
Also, objectively analyze what you value most in others and to what extent the presence of these characteristics makes you overlook the negative aspects. For example, do you give priority to beauty over other personality qualities, or do you find it more important that there are common tastes and interests than the way a person treats you? Confronting ourselves with these questions will make us look differently at our close ties and evaluate to what extent we have idealized other people.
It strengthens self-esteem. If idealization appears because you have a low self-esteem, it will be of great importance that you start working on the way in which you value your own qualities and virtues. A healthy self-esteem will make us see others with objectivity and fairness.
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How to get someone to change their mind, according to neuroscientist Tali Sharot.
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п»ї<title>How to get someone to change their mind, according to neuroscientist Tali Sharot.</title>

Getting someone to change their mind is a milestone of varying difficulty, a purpose conditional on various circumstances. As a rule, we usually pass a critical filter on an idea before adopting it as our own. However, once this first filter has been passed, it is not easy for us to question it again.
Neuroscientist Tali Sharot, author of the book The Influential Mind, has studied this phenomenon in detail. Her attraction to the subject was born of a simple fact: getting someone to change their mind, even if the new evidence goes in this direction, is not an easy milestone to achieve.
Sharot was struck by our ability to dismiss evidence that contradicts our beliefs. Consciously or unconsciously, we are able to close our minds and refuse to see reality from another perspective. So how do we get someone to change their mind? That's what we'll talk about.
"Splitting an atom is easier than breaking a prejudice."
-Albert Einstein
The stubborn brainThe human brain loves novelty, but it also resists change. Although it enjoys curiosity and discovery, it also understands that mutating the patterns it works with requires an investment of energy. Therefore, it tends to place many requirements on making these variations.
When new, but valid and well-argued information appears, we usually receive it well. The problem appears when this new information contradicts the construction of some of our schemes. In other words, any novelty is assimilated very well, as long as it does not call into question previous knowledge or beliefs.
In principle, this would appear to be a "design flaw". However, it is rather a preservation mechanism and a means of saving energy. Available data indicate that the brain rejects or filters out anything that is an invitation to change its ways of proceeding.
The brain is not good at dealing with uncertainty. If that new idea generates a lot of it, a common attitude is to protect ourselves. Sometimes we prefer to think that we are still standing on solid ground, even if we are surrounded by water on a swaying platform. In fact, Tali Sharot proved this with some experiments.
Tali Sharot's experimentsTali Sharot and some of her colleagues conducted a study to establish how a person's opinions work and how they change. Within it they conducted several tests and a simple experiment. This consisted of asking several people to calculate the price of a house and say how sure they were of their opinion.
Volunteers were also asked to place a bet on their opinion, which ranged from 0 to 60 cents. They were then allowed to look at what others of their peers had scored and were given the opportunity to change their bet. What happened was that if another volunteer had a figure similar to what each had calculated, they increased their bet.
On the other hand, if another participant had a very different number, they were barely taken into account. It did not matter if that person had noted that he or she was very confident in his or her estimate and placed a high bet. If he contradicted one's own opinion, generally speaking, he was not taken into account.
Getting someone to change his or her mindThe above and other studies show that it is very difficult to get someone to change his or her mind, even if the person has solid evidence of his or her error. It has also been shown that when a person hears opinions that are different from his own, he can become desensitized.
So how do you get someone to change their mind? According to Dr. Tali Sharot, the first thing to do is to make arguments that are on common ground. Something like finding common ground to prevent the other person's brain from shutting down and becoming desensitized.
We believe not only what we think is true, but also what we want to believe. In order to change someone's mind, it is important to attend to that desire and not to discredit it. Likewise, fears and previous beliefs must be taken into account.
An exampleAn example of the process to change someone's mind could follow the following scheme: you think there is a big conspiracy, and I also think that there are unclear interests motivating some of the measures that affect us, but I don't think there is a plot as such. We both think that there are powerful groups behind it; we both know that there is information to which we do not have access.
I am as afraid as you are of this happening. The difference between your opinion and mine is that, in my opinion, there are also people like you and me who are reluctant to get down on their knees. The most committed have created very serious organizations to publicize the excesses or abuses of powerful groups.
I believe in the information these organizations produce, as they have been doing so for many years and have proven that they can be trusted as a source. Why do you believe only in anonymous sources?
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